Modern Vampires (1998)

Modern Vampires is the kind of scrappy, sunbaked vampire movie that knows exactly what it is: a cheeky, blood-splattered B-movie that mixes revenge-fueled action with a wink and a grin. Set against a Southern California backdrop that feels delightfully wrong for creatures of the night, it plays with vampire lore in ways that are more playful than precious, keeping the vibe fast, campy, and happily unafraid of a little gore. Rod Steiger brings a heavyweight presence that elevates the madness, while the cast leans into the movie’s offbeat energy with the confidence of people in on the joke. If you want solemn, romantic gothic brooding, look elsewhere—but if you’re on the fence and craving an entertaining, original midnight-movie ride, this one sinks its teeth in quickly.

Modern Vampires is clearly trying to mash up slick late-’90s vampire cool with action, comedy, and a revenge-driven thriller hook, but it rarely gels into a coherent ride. The low-budget look, uneven pacing, and confused tone make it feel like it’s constantly switching channels—too jokey to be scary, too sluggish to be exciting, and too messy to be funny. Worse, some character choices lean into stereotypes in a way that can come off dated and offensive rather than edgy. If you’re only in the mood for a campy vampire curio and can tolerate rough execution, you might find a few moments of cheesy charm, but anyone expecting sharp genre thrills or tasteful humor should steer clear.